Did you know that the experiences we seek therapy often reflect the ones we long for in our daily lives? Effective therapy isn’t just about resolving issues—it’s also about obtaining reflection, validation, and transformation. Integrating lessons beyond the confines of counseling involve
When a colleague once shared, “We pay for in therapy what we’d like to experience in everyday life,” it reshaped my perspective. This simple insight highlights why and how integrating lessons outside of a therapy session is so important: The reflection, contemplation, shared insights, practice, support systems, and more, are the efforts needed to rewire old beliefs into new life affirming actions.
How Early Relationships Shape Our Beliefs
During a 2021 Hakomi mindfulness-based body-centered psychotherapy training, a fellow therapist shared a profound truth: strong relationships—whether in therapy or beyond—are critical to overcoming limiting beliefs and barriers.
Think about it: many of our subconscious patterns are formed during our earliest relationships with primary caregivers. These experiences shape beliefs like:
“I’m not safe.”
“I can’t be authentic.”
“I’m unlovable unless I prove my worth.”
“My needs don’t matter.”
These limiting beliefs can unconsciously guide our choices, drawing us into relationships and environments that reinforce them. Therapy offers a space to recognize these patterns, reframe them, and consciously develop healthier ways of being.
Why Relationships Are Central to Healing
Real transformation happens when we practice new patterns in the context of relationships. This is why I’ve found couples work (Therapy for relationships)—broadly defined to include romantic partners, family members, and close friends—so impactful.
In these couples sessions, one person (the “primary individual”) explores their belief systems and traumas, while the other (the “supporting individual”) offers:
Support and Witnessing: Being present for and co-exploring the primary individual’s process.
Counter-Experiences: Providing care that challenges limiting beliefs.
Action Partnership: Helping the primary individual implement changes in daily life.
These roles alternate during and between sessions, creating a dynamic, co-healing process. Sessions include talk, observation, and touch-based techniques like holding, bodywork, and massage.
Evidence-Based and Holistic Practices
The methods I use draw from established therapeutic approaches, including:
Hakomi Therapy (mindfulness-based, body-centered psychotherapy)
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Authentic Relating Practices
Anatomy Trains Bodywork
My training through The Hakomi Institute, The Hakomi Education Network, and other respected organizations, combined with my personal experience in intimate partnership with a mindful lover and as a parent, allows me to guide individuals and pairs toward deeper connection and healing. These connections are within themselves, the therapeutic relationship, their personal relationships, and their relationship with the world, including society and nature.
Explore Therapy for relationships
Whether through Wholesome Therapies or another somatically oriented therapist, I encourage you to explore these transformative modalities. Wholesome Therapies offers in-person sessions in Fort Collins and Boulder, Colorado, and North Platte, Nebraska, as well as online therapy options.
Starting in Fall 2024, couples sessions will be offered at the same rate as individual appointments. To learn more or book a session:
Visit: WholesomeTherapies.as.me
Call: 303-900-8937
Let’s work together to nurture the relationships—both with yourself and others—that bring healing and joy.
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